"HURRY UP AND WAIT" TORMENT

April 2, 2013 was the date of that fateful mammogram and ultrasound indicating I had a suspicious solid mass in my left breast that wasn't present in my 2012 mammogram. Now came the "hurry up and wait" game. I had a previous biopsy (benign) by Dr. Mary Brian in 2002, so I felt confident in having her perform this biopsy. I wanted it right away, but reality check said I had to wait for an opening on April 24th. You can imagine the angst one goes through waiting. Somehow I knew this time I wouldn't be so lucky, but I tried my best to keep positive. I would deal with it.

Having had a previous biopsy, I knew what to expect during the procedure. I knew my luck ran out when Dr. Brian was very guarded in her initial assessment of the breast tissue specimens she removed. I had the biopsy on Wednesday, April 24th and would get the results on Friday, April 26th. More tormented waiting. Friday afternoon came and I hadn't heard from Dr. Brian's office, so I called. They checked and the lab was not done with its analysis, so I would have to wait until Monday for the results. I did a lot of praying that if it was cancer, that it was detected early and at a low risk. I became very specific in what I prayed for; such as skillful lab technicians, and for serenity and calmness during this waiting time. 

My husband and I visited with Dr. Brian on Monday, April 29th. Not good news. The biopsy report diagnosed it as a low-grade carcinoma in the left breast that was suspicious for invasion. I have a biology major, yet this information brought me to my knees. I felt numb. That one word, cancer; is devastating to hear.

Dr. Brian indicated I would probably need a lumpectomy followed by radiation....possibly chemotherapy, if it was in my lymph nodes. The biopsy wording "suspicious for invasion" was mind blowing. I wanted to know for sure, so Dr. Brian suggested having a MRI. The MRI was scheduled for Friday, May 3rd. Another tormented waiting period. I prayed for skillful MRI technicians, doctors, and that the cancer had not spread.